Thursday, 18 August 2011

Living with men.

When you move in with someone it's inevitable that your lives entwine. You become more aware of each others schedules (sometimes I even know more about what his calenders like than he does!) etc.
The weirdest thing I've found is the fact that I miss him if I'm home alone. Tonight, he's working late, and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I feel like I'm being so stupid, there's plenty I could be getting on with. But all I want to do is curl up on the couch with him with our books. Some feminist I am.
Evidently you don't need to go for days without seeing someone to miss them.
Does this make me really needy? I don't want to be the girl who can't cope without her man.
Maybe what the thing is is that this week he worked on my days off, and I kinda thought, well, that's ok cause at least we'll have the evenings together. But last night I basically ignored him, and tonight he's still at work.
I've gotten used to a lot of things since we moved in together, but I guess this is the most recent adjustment I'm going to have to make.

Saturday, 24 April 2010

Drifting in Hyde Park.

Outside my house the scary looking trees (photo b) have come out in loads of leaves.

I pass a front door with no door knob.

I have a feeling of calm, I'm listening to a track called 'The forest' which may have something to do with it.

I have to lean against walls to write, there are no horizontal surfaces.

I drift into Morrison's, everything is in neat rows on the shelves, why?

I pass a trail of rotten food down the street.

When drifting everything suddenly becomes fascinating.

On the way to the tube I become fascinated by strange markings on the kerb. I must look insane to people as I'm photographing them.

I mis-read a sign and think it says 'Inspiring gateways'.

On the tube a group sat down next to me. I'm listening to music, out of the corner of my eye i see them making strange shapes with their hands and arms. I took my earphones out and shamelessly eavesdropped. Turned out they were a group from a dance school. The guys were walking stereotypes, wonderfully camp. The whole time we travelled together they were slightly dancing, practising moves...

At Speakers Corner i stumble across an amazing tree. From a distance I couldn't tell if it was real or a statue. I got closer and it turned out to be a statue, and an advert for the film 'Avatar'. I wish we had trees like that in real life.

I hold up a crisp but the wind takes it before I can eat it as an offering to the gods.

I see people asleep under the open sky. I lie back and think of the scale of me, and us, under the never ending deep sky stretching out into space.

When the music i'm listening to changes i find myself dancing slightly where i sit.

I have an idea of doing a static drift in St.Pancras. Railway stations are great places to pick up on atmospheres. I have my own experiences of that station as somewhere i met and said goodbye to my lover many times, to the point where i no longer say goodbye to him there as the combined memories build up and make it too hard.
Just being there you know that everyone there is either going to or from somewhere. What are their stories? Are they escaping, seeking asylum, or reluctant to leave? Where are they going? Why? Are they going on holiday or going home back to the normal routine? There are many languages to hear as you walk through. Imagine what they are saying, make your own english dubbing track.

In the park, today, all sense of urgency is gone. I sit in a relaxed atmosphere where no-one is in a rush, no-one needs to go anywhere. Am i still in London?

Ulrich Schnauss is a genius.

I have an idea to try and lead this drift to Leicester Square and do a static drift there.

'The kaleidoscopic unsettling of the sense comes rapidly once we move from the passive gaze of tourist to the intrusive, naughty, performative and inquisitive behaviour of the mis-guided.' The mis-guide to anywhere.

An african chant in a tune transports me to another place and makes me want to dance.

The wind gets chillier and everyone suddenly is wearing more clothes.

In hyde park they do free guided walks. I am going to one about the water in the park on Friday 11th June.

There are actual boundaries in the park, such as fenced off areas where sprinklers sprinkle. I was annoyed with this as i wanted to play.
And there are invisible boundaries too. I come to an area where people are playing sports. I found myself walking round an invisible boundary as i was aware that i was infringing on their playing space. Plus i didnt want to get hit by a ball.


























Wednesday, 21 April 2010

'Discover the theatre of life on and off the edge of the map'.

Go for a walk. Don't take a map.
Start somewhere you know and head out into the wilderness.

Mixture of fantasy and history, fact and fiction.